


Fear of touch

by Rainfalls



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, Mark just wants a friend, Poor Mark, and sadish?, err...It's kinda sweet, i dunno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 09:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5661160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainfalls/pseuds/Rainfalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>N_Natsuki wanted to make a fic where Mark has Haphephobia, AKA a rare specific phobia that involves the fear of touching or of being touched. Mark also made the brilliant decision to let Jack stay over. Things happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear of touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skyyynn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyyynn/gifts).



I control it, it does not control me. Mark repeated in his head. He shook his head trying to get the thought out of his head. He was better than this. But, he never met Jack before. He really and I mean really likes him. Yet, after all their video chats he can’t trust Jack to touch him. Heck! It took years for him to open up to a new person when he was younger.  
Explain it to him, a voice at the back of his mind told him but no one understands. No one will understand how difficult it is, Jack will think he is weird and will hate him. And Mark wants to become friends with Jack or closer if possible. The only way is to pretend to be a normal person. A person Jack will be happy with, someone he can touch freely without having to warn anyone. Mark can’t tell him. Plus he already told Jack he could come over.

Jack asked if he could stay over to get to know Mark. Mark said yes like an idiot because… Okay, Mark cannot give a good reason why he said yes. He is so stupid, he has haphephobia! Even though he does not suffer from his fear of touch as much as compared to other people, he still has it. He could handle touches with prior warning, not accidental touches that is not anyone’s fault. Maybe if he pays attention he can see Jack before he touches him to avoid any reaction.

If only he was normal. He even had to quit his old jobs due to his fears. He does his job as a gamer behind the camera to avoid touching others. Many people even enjoy watching him. If they knew the real him they would only look at him with pity. Leaving him. Jack would leave him too once he finds out.

-

Jack was here.

His friends told him to tell Jack that he should not come over but he didn’t want to because he is selfish. He wants to see Jack once, before he loses him. He wants to touch him although it breaks him. 

Now Jack is standing outside the door waiting for him to answer. His heart was beating so fast he was sure it would leap out of his chest at any moment. He took a deep breath and placed a smile on his face as he opened the door. He opened the door to see Jack grinning excitedly at him. Luckily Jack hands were full of luggage because he seems to want to jump up and hug him.

‘Mark!’ If it was even possible, Jack smiled became bigger.

‘Jack! Come in, I’ll show you around!’ Mark opened the door as wide as possible to prevent any collision. Mark felt a weird feeling of both happiness and despair. 

Mark gave the tour around the house to Jack, somehow not touching Jack so far. He showed the place Jack would be sleeping at, the bathroom, the kitchen and most importantly the gaming room. He switched on the TV and passed Jack the console to start playing.

‘Want a drink? I have cream soda.’ Mark asked as the gracious host he is, knowing Jack’s favorite drink.

‘Ooh, yeah grab me one.’

When Mark brought the drinks, Jack had already made an abominable thing in Gmod. It had, well, it was so scary it was both glitching and moving around as Jack laughed. He sat down on the chair close to Jack and placed the drink on the table in-between. Of course something wrong had to happen.

Jack reached out to grab the cup while Mar was placing it down.Their fingers touched. Mark jerked away, dropping the glass onto the floor. His vision started to blur but what he could see made him run away into his room. Jack looked hurt. Mark didn’t mean to flitch but he felt so pressured, so terrified. It was too close. Too close. Too much. He was scared. So he locked himself up in the room.

‘Mark?’ God, Jack sounded so worried for him.

‘G-go away! ’ He tried to ignore his voice cracking as he resisted the urge to cry. 

‘Mark, its fine. Tell me what’s wrong.’ Jack’s voice was so calming. He hates you, you and your faults, not excepting his help.

‘No.’ Mark shut his eyes wishing this never happened. 

‘If you want me to leave I can.’ Jack said. 

After a long pause Mark whispered. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I have problems with touching people. I don’t feel comfortable with anyone without at least prior warning I wanted to be seen as normal by you and I-I’m sorry.’ Mark sobbed. 

‘Shh, it’s not your fault. May I come in?’

Mark sniffled as he uncurled from the corner of his room to open the door. He held his hands close to his chest. Jack stepped into the dark room as Mark curled back up on bed. Mark felt the bed tip downwards as Jack sat next to him.

‘May I hug you?’ Mark nodded as he leaned I into Jack’s chest. ‘It’s okay, it’s okay.’ Jack murmured softly as he cradled Mark.

**Author's Note:**

> There was supposed be more angst but I can't seem to do it. Also if you were wondering why Mark can handle touches, his fear is not as serious as compared to others but still suffers the attacks. As long as he can prepare himself for it, that's why Jack could hug him.


End file.
